This article was intended as self-therapy after the particular night in question. (Read it, you'll see!) I wrote it intending to publish it in two punk magazines, where the language used won't stand out. It will (ahem) stand out in FidoNews. I don't know what the policy, if any, is these days on submissions. The language is strong but so is the content. It's not fiction. Here's the article: * LAST SATURDAY * Tom Jennings Saturday, 22 Oct 88 There's some new NBC TV series, made in San Francisco, ``Midnight Caller'', to be aired starting 25 Oct. I don't have a TV so I know nothing about it. One particular episode is scripted to go like this: there's a nasty bisexual man who knows he's infected with the HIV virus, deliberately fucking and infecting his women lovers. (I suppose if he was fucking guys no one would care, so they made it women.) The producer, John Perry, told the Sentinel (SF newspaper) ``Every episode will leave you with a thought provoking process.'' I'm sure. (This is the same studio, Lorrimar, that brought you gems like ``Cruising'', another gay-exploitation movie.) This is just too much. It's one too many outright assault. It's plain and simple, saying ``oh those AIDS faggots, see? this is what could happen, there are people like that out there!''. The argument is that since potentially anyone could do that (remember: we are all potential criminals at all times) we must control them, its for our own good, see. Saturday, 22 Oct 88 This morning someone pointed a gun at me. He called me a ``faggot''. My car was getting a new muffler (all by itself). I walked down to pick it up. I waited for the light; crossed Folsom St. Wait for the light; cross 5th St. (There's lots of traffic, see; new Nordstrum's opened, new consumer shrine only two blocks away. Light changes, I walk, cars go. Late model clean bright red fashionable ``sporty'' toyocar makes left turn, behind me. I glance briefly at the car, absolutely ordinary event (safe distances, etc) The guy is looking at me. He says ``Fuck you faggot!'', so of course social obligation, I flip him off. He pulls into the bus stop, yelling ``come over here faggot!'', etc. I flip him off, he's still yelling. I wave no-like, I shut up, keep walking, don't look back for a minute or so. (ie. remove myself from this nuts life.) What the hell is his problem? Gee, I must look like some silly nelly queen to him: I'm 6 foot 4, black leather jacket, 1/4" buzzed hair, dark round shades, grungy black jeans rolled up, Doc-Martens boots, I haven't shaved or showered since Thursday morning, in other words, I ain't pretty; plus, fer shits sake, I just woke up! I glance back, he's gone, driven off to wherever he's going. Adrenalin time: but I keep walking, I only have to go one block to get my car. Deep breaths, I start to cool out. I'm not stupid, so I watch for the idiots car, it's all one way streets it's easy. Zoom! There he is: pulls over, opens door, yells more ``faggot'' shit, then while sitting in the drivers seat (neatly combed & cut black hair, dark aviator glasses, plain dark T- shirt) waggles a gun at me, nice new long barrel medium caliber autoloader, maybe target pistol. I'm standing beside a van, wierd, but I get angry not scared; plus he obviously doesn't know what he's doing with that gun, it's pointing all over but at me. I say something stupid then bolt quick as shit to video store doorway, then have the presence of mind to look for a license plate, etc, but he was gone. Now comes the real adrenalin. Stupid junk it is too; great I'm sure for rolling in the mud gnashing teeth locked arm to arm with a mortal enemy, but pretty useless in an urban environment when I need my brain, I can make my body follow as I need thank you. Great, I'm in the muffler shop waiting to pay for and drive away my car. Here I am in the throes of full-blast adrenalin, panting and shaking, microsecond reflexes, predator body motions, trying to smile to the other customers, ``Oh hi, I'm just here to pick up my car, ha ha.'' Yow! Saturday, 22 Oct 88 So NBC wants to film this particular episode, the part where the guy gets shot by one of his victims, in a gay neighborhood. The script, leaked to ACT-UP (``AIDS Coalition To Unleash Power'' -- gay political activists who put their energy and asses on the line for all of us -- gay or not -- and in SF here has lots of homopunks and punk gays) leaked allegedly by an NBC employee with decent ethical standards. (Thank you.) Revenge killing at the end: the guy gets blown away, the Health Dep't shows up in full body ``radiation'' type suits, seal the body into a bag marked ``DANGER: BIOHAZARD''. This is so sick, so horrible, so dangerous it's almost beyond belief. It's just wrong, wrong, wrong, the implied ``facts'' are just plain, wrong. I'll leave the information-getting up to you but listen to this doo-doos: you have to WORK HARD to get AIDS. Like, use a needle that has the fresh blood from someone who has AIDS still in it; getting screwed in the ass by a guy with AIDS who comes. That's about it. Women getting it from men sexually is very uncommon. Men getting it from women sexually is, I believe, unheard of. Is that simple enough? Most people are totally and completely ignorant of what the hell is going on. Do you really know what AIDS is? Do you understand how information is transmitted in this culture? Do you know how your brain soaks up the crap you are immersed in? Saturday, 22 Oct 88 In California, there is this state Proposition #96, which stated, basically, if you are arrested for any reason (say at a protest or whatever) and there is ``reason to believe'' you ``may'' have transmitted ``bodily fluids'' to a police officer, (like if he claims you spit at him) you can be detained for HIV antibody testing. They detain you, they administer the test, they tell you the results. Results are not confidential. 1. ``Reason to believe'' means their whim 2. ``may'' means at the cops whim 3. ``bodily fluids'' (see below) 4. you obviously do not have to be gay [As an example of the very specific mis-information being spread, ``bodily fluids'' used to be a euphemism for, mainly, cum: semen and the lubricating fluid produced by the male testes. Also, blood and direct by-products, plasma, clotting-factor VIII used for haemophiliacs, etc. So-called family newspapers (and nearly everyone else) just plain doesn't like to say ``cum''. Somehow it came to mean everything, including spit and sweat and tears. Medically, in regarding HIV virus transmission, it does not mean spit, tears, sweat, etc. Is that plain enough for you? See how this works?] OK, so when/if you go to a demonstration, (``Food Not Bombs'', Greenpeace, Earth First!, Bush in town, whatever) there's always a slight, maybe minimal, chance you'll be arrested. Some people push their luck more than others. Normally getting arrested under such circumstances is no big deal; you're out pretty quick, on bail or personal recognizance. (I've never been arrested, and hope to keep it that way.) This adds a new dimension to political dissent, no? OK, so you, reading this, you may not be gay, and you're probably HIV negative (ie. uninfected). That does not matter. YOU CAN STILL BE TESTED. Explain to your friends, when the paper says ``...those arrested at today's demonstration were detained for testing for the deadly AIDS virus...''. Try to explain that they test people to terrorize, it doesn't mean they really didn't have any reason to test you. Oh I forgot: Though we'll still get to vote this Nov. 8 on Prop. #96, it's already been implemented; it went through the state legislature or something, I don't understand the process. This is pretty much in effect now, in California. I will only briefly mention Proposition #102, which says: there will be no anonymous HIV testing in CA; all positives ie. presumed infected) must be reported to public health authorities; people testing positive required by law to compile lists of all sexual contact for public health authorities. Testing allowed for jobs or insurance. Why the list compiling? AIDS is not a casually contagious disease. This is to be voted upon Nov. 8. the last ``poll'' I recall (don't you love those mysterious authoritative polls?) had it posted at 72% in favor of Prop. #102, though previous ``polls'' on similar state propositions said similar things, but were resoundly defeated anyways. Now do you get what this is all about? Saturday, 22 Oct 88 I'm walking with Duke down Haight St., we're going into Mendel's so's I can buy paint pens to finish my HOMOCORE logo on my jacket. New crop of skinheads talking amongst themselves as we go by: ``...man, there's lotsa fags in this town...'' Look, right now it's 2:00AM, I can't fucking sleep. I am wired. The only thing that keeps me cool headed at all is my wonderful boyfriend Michael is coming down to visit me from WA state next week (we met at the '88 Toronto Anarchist Gathering) that homopunk makes me happy! They really are planning on filming that ugly thing. This script is no accident, it's pure exploitation of the worst kind, oh, its just a bunch of faggots I guess, huh? ``...thought provoking process.'' Yeah right. Oh, people say, but some people do do that, so it's not like they're lying or anything. Right. Hey, a black guy raped a white lady, well, they're like that, you know? NBC got a restraining order against ACT-UP and specific ACT-UP people; they are quite intent on filming this thing. (At Gilman St. Project we couldn't get a restraining order against some people who had been harrassing us at the club over a period of months.) If they just show up they get arrested, no questions asked. The mayor doesn't want to ``interfere with their First Amendment rights''. First Amendment rights do not include the right to yell ``fire!'' in a crowded room. It's not gonna happen. People are not going to let it happen. This ain't Politically-Correct demonstrations guys, this is my life, and your lives, literally, there are assholes out there looking for someone to hate, to vent their slimy thoughts on. Faggots are real handy. Anyone who stands out will do. Think you have to actually be gay? Who's next? I mean, like what am I going to do, personally, about this filming business? It can't happen. Yeah, sure they can just do it somewhere else, in some other city, but this means we should allow them to do it in our own neighborhoods? Well, maybe someone there in that other city will give them a hard time too. ACT-UP has so far done a really good job, on a few minutes notice they show up and make noise and diversions that effectively stops the filming. Hence the restraining order. This filming can't happen, in gay neighborhoods no less; there's good ole boys driving around looking for fags to beat up, all they need is an excuse and a good TV shot of an actual street with homos on it to make it easier. There aren't ``gay'' issues vs. straight ones. Sexuality is part of your personal human freedom, it's your damn business not mine. The very fact that you might get uptight and upset thinking about different kinds of sexuality means that {\it you were taught well, you believe the lies, you will do their job for them}, we're put into smaller and smaller categories until no one will defend their own neighbors and friends, and therefore themselves. Do you, or I, have to get killed by some fag-basher to make a point or what? Do you understand what this is all about yet? Ref: FidoNews 5-48 (28-Nov-1988) http://195.226.109.55/jhassler/wif/doks/fnews/fido548.txt By: Tom Jennings